Collin Willis

Last week Donald Trump became the first former President to be found guilty of committing a felony. In fact he was found guilty on all 34 counts. I don’t know what I expected the social media reactions to be, but against my better judgement I didn’t expect Trump to once again find himself in comparison to Jesus Christ amongst his followers. My Facebook feed was flooded with reactions calling the trial a hoax, pointing out (incorrectly) that Jesus was also pronounced guilty, and all sorts of rallying cries towards the former reality-TV star’s defense.

It’s been a while since I’ve jumped into the Tartarean abyss that is Donald Trump, but this legal battle and the ensuing chaos has placed enough ideas back into the forefront that I feel it’s time to once again express my concern with the ways in which I see so many of my Christian friends rallying to Donald Trump as if he were the Messiah rather than acknowledging the Barabbas that he truly is.

Set the Record Straight

I’ve never been a fan of Donald Trump and I think this blog has well reflected that. While you will occasionally find nitpicks with other Democrat and Republican leaders, the only politician who regularly gets dissected here has been the 45th President. In the lead up to the 2020 election I wrote about my concerns with many across the nation continuing to pursue his vitriolic brand of hate and brinkmanship. I also spoke about Joe Biden and how I expected him to be a stable but uneventful president. Despite a bit deeper of a slide into dementia than I expected, I think both my points about Trump and about Biden still stand.

In the wake of January 6th, Trump’s guilty verdict by 34 counts, and the lieu of chaos that has been surrounding him for the past nine years; I feel it is one again time to voice the concerns I have against my Christian brothers and sisters who continue to defend him so ardently despite his very large and very public lack of repentance. This is not a political attack on Donald Trump, it is a personal one. I’m not here to argue policy positions or any Republican/Democratic agenda. I am here to argue that we should care about what kind of people spearhead those agendas and how they permit themselves to behave.

Why Trump?

If you’re one of those Trump defenders and you read past my first statement of intent, I’d like you to know that the message I hope to bring across isn’t just focused on Trump, Conservatives, or your support of either. The maelstrom that Trump continues to ride like a big wave exists on both sides of the aisle and more specifically on both the radical left and the alt right.

I focus on Trump for several reasons. One, the Left doesn’t have a figurehead the way the Right does. Donald Trump is an idol to his base and its supposed leaders. Two, the maelstrom is currently stronger on the right in my opinion. This doesn’t mean that the left is free of any blame, responsibility, or fault of their own; but that there are factions on the far right (specifically in Congress) actively calling for and seeking means to disable the government and undermine democracy. Third, because Donald Trump and his cronies actively abuse the symbolism, systems, and structures of my faith. Donald Trump parades as a Christian while making a mockery of what it means to be a Christian and practicing a lifestyle contrary to that faith.

Donald Trump is a liar, a philanderer, a misogynist, a racist, an insurrectionist, and a false messiah. It is for these reasons that I do feel compelled to write about him even for an audience as small as mine. I have heard the counter that “none can know what’s in a man’s heart but the Lord” and that is true, but I can see a man’s actions and see the clear distinction between what he practices and what the faith of a Christian demands.

Individualism…

We live in a world that places individualism on a pedestal, and it does so at the expense of the community. We have placed an ultimate importance on doing things that benefit me regardless of how it benefits those around me. At the same time, we are pampered in ways that eliminate our contact with members of our community, let alone those outside of it.

To illustrate this, let’s look at how people watch TV compared to how they watched it 20 or 30 years ago. When I was a kid we had two TVs in our house; one in the living room that had cable and a DVD player, and another in the Sun Room that had the video game systems. If you wanted to watch TV you had to be in a communal space, which meant that if anyone else entered the room there had to be a communal agreement on what was being watched on that TV. This lead to a lot of sibling rivalries over the remote, a lot of bored kids while Mom and Dad watched whatever shows and movies they wanted, and a lot of adults grimacing through kid’s movies. But there was community there; memories were made and conversations had because we had to utilize the same space in order to entertain ourselves.

Nowadays at my parents’ house there is still a living room TV, but everyone also has their own laptop and their own phone. Something can be playing on the TV and despite a full room only one person is actually engaging in it. Everyone else might be present but they are playing their own games, watching their own videos, and scrolling through their own feeds. The communal space is still present, but the need to entertain ourselves has mostly become a solo activity. We are unplugged from the collective and connected only to our isolated little worlds.

… At the Expense of Community

Our Television habits aren’t too dissimilar from our political habits. We vote for what we want and what we think will benefit our family. And we do so without much concern or question of how those policies, bills, and practicalities of our party and our candidate will impact those outside of our circle. This happens on both sides of the aisle. We know how we believe the system should work and we want it to work that way for everyone. If this was just a matter of political activity, I don’t believe that it is necessarily an evil. However, when the issue of individualism and bolstering our people takes precedence over the collective masses issues arise.

There was a massive immigration and border security reform bill going through congress a few months ago. It was a Bipartisan bill that compromised by bolstering border security (A Republican Agenda) and opening up expedience for many would be immigrants to the United States (A Democratic Agenda). It was a rare bill that gave both sides a big concession on something that they wanted, and an even rarer bill that showed strong support on both sides. The only problem? It would have made one of Donald Trump’s primary campaign pieces a near non-issue. Donald Trump did not want to lose this axe because he wanted to grind it against Joe Biden in the Presidential Campaign. So he directly and openly made known to his supporters in Congress that he did not want the bill passed. Donald Trump and his far-right proponents killed this bill in order to bolster his election chances.

The individual was put before the collective in a massive way, one that both decreases security and peace of mind for those near the border, and that denies access to the United States for many of those seeking its promised life, liberty, and pursuits of happiness. Rather than compromising on an issue for the collective good of the nation, Trump lead his party members to compromise themselves instead. They failed to do their job as legislators because of his lead and the power that they continue to lend him so that he can lord it over them.

Political Leaders

Who our political leaders choose to be and how they yield their power matters. The actions they inspire in others matter. Their willingness to compromise and to put their own gain above others matters. Again, I am not saying that one party does this and the other does not. I am saying that Donald Trump continually proves that there is no one, no thing, and no belief on this earth that he is willing to put above himself. Unfortunately, he has inspired many of his followers to do the same. Donald Trump both wields and represents a lot of power in this nation and its political arenas; and many Congressional, Gubernatorial, and Judicial members of this nation’s government have chosen to vie for that power rather than stand for a belief or put their duty to the people of this nation above it. I think that this dynamic exists on both sides, but I also think that it looks very different on the right than it does the left.

The Far Right would make a run on Satan’s ticket if he promised to dip his toes into their agenda along the way. The Far Left wouldn’t even associate with Jesus if he dared to toe even an inch away from their interpretation of the party line. The Far Right and the Far Left are happy to compromise themselves in order to avoid having to compromise with the other team. The identity of Democrat, Republican, and especially of a Trump/MAGA devotee have usurped the identity of American. That usurpation occurs in order to achieve individual goals and bolster individual power at the expense of the collective good, the voters, and the Americans they are supposed to be shepherding.

Virtuous Leadership

It is a difficult thing to admit that your side isn’t all made up of George Washingtons, Abraham Lincolns, FDRs, and JFKs. The truth of the matter is that this government has never been run exclusively by the most virtuous or noble among its constituents. Yet rarely have the least-virtuous been so ardently held up to the spotlight and placed on pedestals of power to the degree which Trump and many of his cronies have been.

Alexander Hamilton committed an act of adultery, paid someone to keep it quiet so it wouldn’t harm his political aspirations, and lost his entire prospects of becoming President when the truth came out. Donald Trump had an affair, paid someone to keep it quiet so it wouldn’t harm his political aspirations, and is being treated as a martyr for being found guilty of the crime. Let alone the fact that he is still a primary Presidential candidate thrice over despite the fact.

It is difficult to admit flaws in our leadership because all too often we mistake their identity for our own. We know the behaviors are bad but we can’t possibly believe they happened or that they should be punished because our faith in the person who did them would reflect poorly on our identity as someone who has supported them.

“Bell to Bell”

One of the most influential teachers in my life was my AP Literature teacher my senior year of high school. He really opened my eyes to a lot of books, movies, and stories that I still hold dear to my heart. He was a huge supporter of me as a fledgling writer and the lessons he taught in that class still have an impact on my artistic tastes and creative ventures to this day. That would all be fine except for the fact that two years after I graduated he got caught sleeping with a student.

It was unbelievably difficult for me to accept the fact that both things I knew about this man could be true. He had a lot of influence on me and the career path I have chosen in life, but he also committed statutory rape. So how can this man be good and bad at the same time? How can he have been an influence on me but not have been good? Those are questions I still wrestle with, and the truth at the heart of them isn’t an easy conclusion to come to. This teacher was a big influence on me, but he was also a person who did an atrocious thing. I don’t have to feel guilty that he played a big role in my life when that vile part of him was unknown, but I would sure as hell be responsible if I had let him continue to play a role in my life once that became known. It can be true that our literary interests and artistic hobbies aligned, but also that there were aspects of his life so dark as to warrant that commonality being no longer appropriate.

The same goes for Donald Trump. You’re not a bad person because you support his bills or policies. You’re not a misogynist because he likes to “grab them by the p*ssy”, the same as you’re not a philanderer because he chose to have and cover up an extra-marital affair. At some point, however, you have to see those behaviors and draw the line. Is getting the policy and having the influence you want worth compromising yourself over? Is enabling a man who makes show of abusing his power something that is okay to do? Is letting him influence your life a compromise you are willing to make within yourself?

Separate Identities

Separating ourselves from others when their identity changes is one thing, but it is significantly harder to separate aspects of our identity from ourselves when those parts reveal themselves malignant. The history of this nation is great, but there are many aspects of it which we have to reckon with, areas where we have to set aside the individual gain because the collective loss is so great. There are many sins in America’s closet that need to be reckoned with by everyone who is either born into or chooses to be a part of this nation.

We are the nation that not only turned race based slavery into a worldwide empire, but who defended it with more blood and iron than any other nation on earth. Our soldiers stormed the beaches at Normandy and put Hitler back in his place when our allies couldn’t. But our soldiers are also the ones who mutinied their officers and raped countless women when they found themselves alone in the jungles of Vietnam. Its fun to picture Snoopy storming the beaches with his M1 Garand firing at the Nazis, its not so fun to picture Snoopy pointing that same rifle at a helpless woman while he unbuckles his pants.

This country has risen to the challenge in a great many ways, but it has done just as many evil deeds in the darkness. What scares me isn’t when good is done in the light or evil in the dark; this world is broken and there will never be a perfect nation that doesn’t commit a great atrocity to match each of its great accomplishments. What scares me is when we applaud dark deeds being done so openly in the light, and when we platform a man who exemplifies the behaviors we were always told to avoid simply because he promises to give us the things that we want.

Boys’ State

The summer between my junior and senior years of High School, I was chosen to attend Boys’ State. It’s a weeklong event held throughout the United States that has hundreds of incoming senior boys live in their own national government for a week. Elections are held all the way from Presidential to Mayoral and you spend the week learning how that process works and what kinds of things the government is responsible for at every level.

The first day of Boys’ State everyone takes a questionnaire to determine what Political Party they belong in. The two parties are called the Nationalist and the Federalist Party. Now, neither one is blatantly Republican or blatantly Democrat, and the party alignment can change state by state or year by year; but the correlation there was pretty obvious even for me as a seventeen year old. I took the test and got placed in the Federalist Party (the Democrats) but I KNEW that I was a Nationalist (Republican).

The test had to have been wrong, because I knew two things. One, I was a Christian and Democrats couldn’t be Christians because they were Democrats. Two, I was a Republican because that is the community I grew up with at home, at church, and in the community. Nobody ever explicitly told me that either of these things were true, but those beliefs were created by the influence of the environment I grew up around and the media consumed within it.

“I’m a Nationalist”

I tried to appeal the Federalist allegations and the leader of King County (the floor I lived on for the week) suggested I trust where I had been placed and just see how it went. I can’t say that any other event of political activity from that week shaped who I am today so far as I can recall, but Boys’ State cracked the ice of my identity with that party placement. At the same time, my favorite teacher ever had and was also playing a role in shaping my life and particularly my views of American history and its role in politics. (Note: different teacher than the one mentioned before.)

Mr. Morales did not come from my background. He was Hispanic, a Democrat, and a public school teacher. At the same time that the ice had cracked there was a teacher who pushed me and all of his other students to think critically in ways they had never been asked to before. I do not recall Mr. Morales ever taking a strong political stance or commenting overtly on a concurrent political issue, but he did ask us to take those stances and make those comments over the events in history and political agendas we found in our textbooks and our discussions. What I found was that my stances and my comments strayed quite a bit from the cookie cutter Republican that I KNEW was a part of my identity. But this was all when I was eighteen years old, I don’t think I believed Non-Republicans could be saved or go to heaven until at least a few years later.

The Trump Train

Whether I like it or not, Donald J Trump is a critical part of my political formation. When I went to college I was surrounded by more Republicans than I ever have been or ever will be again. My first mentor was a Republican County Clerk. I campaigned for a Republican County Commissioner. My closest friends at the time were mostly Republicans. I even attended a Marco Rubio rally at one point. To reinforce my anti-Democratic beliefs even further, the student government at the time was headed by a very outwardly hostile Democratic leadership. It was an organization propped up on Liberal agendas but spewing constant hostility towards its own members. The ingredients on the table were all for a strong brew of Conservatism, but they were all of them deceived for another ingredient was made.

My exit from high school and entry into college occurred against the backdrop of Donald’s first Presidential campaign. At a time when all of the political influencers in my life should have been pushing me right, the ice was broken and the influence of Mr. Morales had pushed me to look critically not at the party line I was a part of but at what I actually believed and what I hoped I stood for. Even in those early days the elements of Trump’s persona, the words from his mouth, and the works of his hands still troubled me. Without them, who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t have ever shed the preconceived notions I had of Liberals, Conservatives, Republicans, and Democrats.

Shedding

But Donald Trump was there and his presence forced the ice not just to crack but to break, and for me to figure out what all that water really was in the first place. It took a lot of thought, of Christian influence, and personal dissection for me to admit that part of my identity was flawed. There were core beliefs in my being that I knew to be wrong. The same as it was with my English teacher, it wasn’t inappropriate for me to have been influenced by them when I didn’t know any better but it was not okay for me to permit them to be a part of my life once the veil had been lifted. To do this required a lot of eating crow. I had to own up to myself and even to some of my friends about the harmful things I had said, the hurtful things I had believed, even some of the memes I had posted on Twitter. It wasn’t easy, it still isn’t, but it was necessary.

It wasn’t necessary because I think I’m some immaculate or absolutely correct person now. It was necessary because I was shown that political identity had usurped the calling I felt as a Christian. It was necessary because I didn’t know the difference between the words of Ronald Reagan (an astrologist) and the words of the Apostle Paul (a Christian). It was necessary because an idol had been placed on such a high pedestal in my life that I no longer even knew it was there, and I required a dramatic example of its ability to warp my faith and my vision in order to see it again and begin the process of leveling it down.

Why Barabbas?

Jesus was the King of the Jews that wasn’t, a man who wielded potentially infinite power in the political and social arenas of Jerusalem in his day. The people wanted Him to conquer and even though He could have conquered the Romans and truly crowned Himself King in an instant, He didn’t. The people didn’t understand His lack of ruling, but they understood the chaos He caused and the pressure the Roman boot applied in His wake. So they chose Barabbas, a man believed to have been a violent and murderous insurrectionist.

As Trump’s third election cycle comes to maturity, I find myself watching so many of my Christian brothers and sisters making the same choice. I watch day in and day out as they cry for the release of a violent insurrectionist while neglecting the example that Jesus has set. And I would like to clarify that this passage is not a comparison between Jesus and Joe Biden, but a contrast between the behavior of Donald Trump (Barabbas) and the expectations of the Christian way of life (Jesus).

The people of Jerusalem wanted “A Man of Action” and Christ was neither moving fast enough nor securing their goals. They chose to release the violent insurrectionist because he was a more surefire means to their political end. As one man he might not throw off the entirety of Roman rule, but he absolutely could have gutted a few of them in the attempt. They chose a man they did not understand because his beliefs promised the individual gains they wanted, and they ignored the collective purpose of Christ in doing so.

Crucify Him!

Donald Trump promises to meet a lot of Republican aims. He stances himself strong on abortion, on border protection, pro-business, and anti-immigration. But even if those things benefit you, at what cost are you willing to exact those gains from your neighbor? How many blind eyes are you willing to turn when he degrades women, cheats on his wife, mocks the poor and downtrodden, avoids taxes, shirks the law, falsifies records, and incites a coup that directly attacks the center of our government and claims the lives of five people and injures one-hundred and seventy four men sworn to protect him?

I spent years under the truth that Republicans were the party of law and order. I’ve heard many a cry for “Lock Her Up” and “Send Him Home” regarding Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama. I firmly believed the rallying cry of “But her emails” in 2016, and I still believe that using a private email server for classified information was wrong even if you had that information with permission. I also believe that it is wrong to store classified information you no longer have permission for in your shower, and I wonder why the cries of “Lock her up” don’t resurge in his direction.

I grew up hearing pundits, family members, and neighbors say “he should have followed the law”, “he shouldn’t have been there”, “he should have listened to the police” whenever the next unarmed black kid was gunned down in the streets. I wonder where that respect for authority and the law has gone. I wonder why listening to and respecting the judicial system is no longer a priority when Donald Trump sits underneath the gavel’s influence. I wonder why Treyvon Martin shouldn’t have been holding Skittles but its okay for Donald Trump to flaunt his smoking gun.

And I know this isn’t the movie Tenet, but the way I have seen Christians pretend the world is inverted when it comes to this man bothers me more than I will ever be able to fully put to words.

You Were Wrong

I see the cries of witch hunts and Kangaroo courts in Trump’s camp and wonder why witch hunts are permissible on one side of the aisle but not the other. I see Congressmen and Congresswomen calling for violence against their enemies, I see a President rewarded for doing the same, and I lose faith in this nation’s ability to peacefully persist. I hear the people of Jerusalem chanting for Barabbas and I recoil at the vitriol filling their hearts.

I see many of my Christian brothers and sisters flocking to these sentiments of pitiless violence, to the words that turn this nation against itself, and to the orange idol who leads the charge. I wonder why Whip and Table Jesus became the most influential part of His being when that action was a footnote in a novel filled with far more examples of civility. I see many Christians longing to be persecuted while they cheer for a man who constantly praises himself for how heavily he brings the hammer down on others.

Christianity is not being persecuted in America. Yes, there are plenty of Americans who do not hold Christian beliefs and do not want them spoken. There are also plenty of Non-Christian voices speaking from platforms larger than any they have ever had before, but the existence of an opponent does not equate to persecution. Christians still hold the majority of political power in this country, in its schools, and in its populace. The government is not cracking down on Christians for worshipping their God or believing a certain way. Persecution is not a sign of a righteousness and if the reason you feel persecuted is because your idol’s words got flagged on Facebook then you aren’t even being persecuted anyways.

What Can We Do?

Taking the axe to a house already divided doesn’t have the same effect as showing up with a hammer and nails. Donald Trump continues to encourage Christians and Americans alike to sharpen their axes and turn them toward the house he is actively dividing. He will continue to lie about the election he lost, the insurrection he incited, and the crimes he committed because his followers have abandoned their values in favor of their goals. He calls because they answer and until we as believers are prepared to carry our crosses across our backs instead of our axes, men like him will continue to shape the meaning of Christian identity in this country more than any Pastor or Clergyman ever could.

When Jesus was asked for the Greatest Commandment He offered two answers. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.”. These weren’t suggestions, they were and still are commandments.

Hatred

To truly live the Christian life we have to be willing to take the L and let go our personal transgressions. We have to be willing to set aside our identity, our life, and our goals in pursuit of God and our fellow men and women. We have to be okay taking the axe to our individual selves if it means saving the breaking house and community. And it’s not easy. What is easy is the way of life that Donald Trump continues to personify. Loving your neighbor isn’t easy, hating them is.

Suppressing hatred isn’t easy. I don’t write this like a self-help guru telling you how at peace with life I am, I write this as someone who has to be reminded of this lesson on a daily basis. My last girlfriend cheated on me and for the past two months I have struggled (and often failed) to suppress my hatred for her, for him, for myself, and for the pain she caused me. It is easy to look at her and wish nothing but pain upon her. As easy as that is however, I know that what is right isn’t what is easy but what is hard.

What’s hard is what I know I have been called to do, and that is to love and to forgive. And there are days where I feel capable of that, but it only takes a moment of doubt, fear, or anger, to spark that hatred and overpower what I know to be right. Commandments are hard, but we are called to follow them in the moments when they are the most difficult as much as when they are easy. Vanquishing hate requires us to take a deeper look inside ourselves than is comfortable, to find the flaws in our identity, and to undertake the painful process of pulling them apart.

The worst thing that can happen to you is not that you get offended but that you are unable to love well those who offended you.

-Albert Tate

Love Thy Neighbor

It is easy to hate Donald Trump. It is easy for his supporters to hate Joe Biden. It is easy for the Christian with the MAGA hat to hate the Christian with the Pride Flag. It is easy for people on either side of the aisle to hate and jeer the other. As Christians, God does not ask us to seek political gains on this Earth, to put down our enemies, or to triumph in our hate. God commands us to seek the life and benefit of others before our own.

When men stand on pretense of being the bastion of God’s people and His commands, but stir up strife and fuel hate with the words from their mouths- when they praise themselves for sinful actions and refuse the call to repent or make due- they prove themselves unfit for leadership and rule. They prove that they do not believe the things they ask others to empower them to support. They prove that they do not respect or adhere to the Lord’s Commandments or the example of Jesus. They are unfit to rule this nation, let alone rule it as a leader who is supposedly Christian. Donald Trump is unfit to rule this nation. Donald Trump is not a Christian but a man who has hijacked a movement, made a mockery of it, and used it to fuel his own identity and power.

Closing

I do not care if you are Far Right. I do not care if you are Far Left. If Christ is a part of your identity but takes a backseat to those beliefs and those ambitions, that is a danger to you and to those around you whether they believe or not. Donald Trump is the problem now, but there will be others just like him in the same way there have always been others like him. We won’t ever be able to stamp out that abuse and that hate from this world, but we can choose to take a stand against it. And I for one am sick and tired of so many of my Christian brothers and sisters choosing to stand down for their beliefs and to stand up for a man who neither shares them nor values them.